This comment could certainly come back to get me (after all, my illness-free streak is still alive, so the Law of Averages is not on my side), but I don't see how the H1N1 "Swine Flu" is materially different from any other influenza virus. Ever since this story broke a few weeks ago, I have felt like we are being subjected to sensationalism. Is the Swine Flu, in fact, just like every other flu but with better marketing? Which agency should we credit with this amazing viral (ouch, painful pun) marketing campaign?

Let's review the facts. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano reminded us on Tuesday that the seasonal flu generally claims 35,000 American lives every year. Thus far, the H1N1 virus has led to two fatalities in the United States, one of which was a 23-month old infant. In a survey yesterday of 2,000 Britons, more than half of the respondents feel like this outbreak has been overhyped. There are a lot of similar articles that support the notion of yellow journalism, especially when the latest World Health Organization comment says that one third of the world's population might become infected.

Now, I realize that it is Napolitano's job to keep our country calm. I also realize that there is nothing wrong with health officials trying to encourage people to exercise caution, especially when we are not yet sure of the potency of the virus and it could mutate before a Fall return. However, we can surely appreciate that the press coverage of this story is better than any viral marketing campaign that a leading agency could have dreamt up.

"First, we need a great launch date during a slow news month. Maybe we can squeeze this in between the Somali pirates and Manny Ramirez' drug test. If we're successful, we'll steamroll right through Manny, Sweeps Week, the NBA Finals and the Stanley Cup. We'll take over the world with this story.

"Let's see, this affliction is called 'H1N1.' Hmm, that's not catchy enough...it sounds like a Star Wars character. What if we name it after its source...how about the 'Pig Flu?' No, that's not scary enough...nobody would run from Wilbur in Charlotte's Web. The 'Hog Flu?' Hmm...no, still not right. Oh, I know...let's use a word that hasn't been a part of our vernacular for more than a century, except in romantic comedy movies when describing men. We'll call it the 'Swine Flu.' Perfect! That name is memorable enough to be branded easily and poignant enough to be squeezed into any tweet on Twitter.

"Now, we need an angle to which the crazy zealots can cling. Now that those guys have finally gotten Internet connections, they're great at perpetuating rumors. How about the notion that the Mexican cartels have released a horrible virus upon the Earth in conjunction with Obama's visit to their country? Yes, that's perfect...that will spread like wildfire amongst gun-weilding toothless hillbillies with nine kids.

"Oh, and we need coverage, lots of coverage. Perhaps we can create a lot of speculation about the impact of this disease while overlooking that there are still real epidemics out there that deserve our attention. Let's get some credible people to hold public meetings. Let's get a quote from the President during his press conference. We'll write about it every day until this story floats to the top of every news search and RSS feed, even though there are only 896 confirmed cases in the United States representing roughly 0.0003% of our nation's population.

"Alright, let's promote the heck out of this thing to see how big our viral marketing campaign can get while showing wanton disregard for the sanity of our panicked citizens. After all, the only side-effect is a rise in stock prices for vaccine makers who contract with the United States Human Health Services Department like GlaxoSmithKline, Novartis, Sanofi Pasteur and MedImmune. Those guys are recession-proof so we need to befriend them right now anyway, right?"

My premonition might be wrong, but I get the feeling that we will never see two billion people become infected by the Swine Flu virus. However, its viral marketing campaign may have already exceeded that number.